6 signs you’re ready to settle down

Here are a few signs you’ve found the right one to settle down with

6 signs you’re ready to settle down
6 signs you’re ready to settle down
24 Feb 2016

6 signs you’re ready to settle down

PHOTOS: TPG Open

Maybe you’ve been dating someone for a really long time. Maybe you’re just not getting any younger. In any case, you’re starting to feel this nagging urge to get a ring on your finger. How do you know whether it’s your body reminding you to start producing offspring, societal pressure to get married and start a family, or you actually being ready to settle down? Well, here are a few signs you’ve found the right one to settle down with.

This story first appeared on Lunch Click.

1. You both feel supported in the relationship
1. You both feel supported in the relationship
24 Feb 2016

1. You both feel supported in the relationship

Being supportive of each other is a remarkable feat in itself. We are all pretty competitive – that’s probably the primal instinct in us. And living in this Darwinian world means you’ll often be comparing yourself with and pitting yourself against your peers. If both of you genuinely celebrate each other’s accomplishments and are proud of what each other has achieved, it means both of you have already established teamwork in your relationship. Both of you are fighting on the same side.

2. You share similar goals
2. You share similar goals
24 Feb 2016

2. You share similar goals

If you’re a fan of How I Met Your Mother, you probably remember this conversation:

Ted: Seriously, where do you see yourself in five years?
Robin: Where do you see yourself?
Ted: Honestly, in five years, I’d probably want to be married.
Robin: And I’d probably want to be in Argentina.
Ted: Argentina?
Robin: Or Tokyo, or Paris. Look Ted, I don’t know where I’m gonna be in five years. I don’t wanna know. I want my life to be an adventure.
Ted: We have an expiration date, don’t we?

The all-important question about each other’s visions led to their breakup. And the truth is, if the two of you see yourselves moving in different directions, you won’t be happy settling down together. One of you will have to give something up.

3. Neither of you wants to change each other
3. Neither of you wants to change each other
24 Feb 2016

3. Neither of you wants to change each other

If you’re settling down in the hope of being able to resolve differences over a long marriage, chances are, the marriage won’t be as long as you think. You need to feel like you’ll be happy with your future spouse just the way he/she is. Otherwise, every fight you have in your marriage will revolve around the same few issues, until you reach your boiling point and end things.

4. Both of you manage to fight in a mature fashion
4. Both of you manage to fight in a mature fashion
24 Feb 2016

4. Both of you manage to fight in a mature fashion

If emotional blackmail is on the table and all your fights are no-holds-barred, then it’s a sign you two shouldn’t get married. These fights are often seen as passionate – after all, you only fight like this with people you care deeply about. But passion doesn’t sustain a marriage; mutual understanding does. So, are the two of you prepared to compromise during fights and not resort to underhanded methods to get what you want? If so, congratulations! You’re likely to live out a blissful marriage.

5. You always consider how your choices impact each other
5. You always consider how your choices impact each other
24 Feb 2016

5. You always consider how your choices impact each other

You’re important to you, but so is your partner. And this means you won’t make any decisions without taking into account your partner’s feelings and best interests. Does this sound like you? Do you think your partner feels the same way? If you answered “yes” to both questions, then that’s a good sign you’re ready to settle down. Consideration for your partner means you won’t make any rash decisions that jeopardise your relationship during your marriage. You won’t, for instance, take an overseas job offer without first considering whether your spouse has good prospects there or whether he/she will be comfortable with a long-term long distance relationship.

6. You’ve seen each other’s worst, ugliest times and still want to be together
6. You’ve seen each other’s worst, ugliest times and still want to be together
24 Feb 2016

6. You’ve seen each other’s worst, ugliest times and still want to be together

What is marriage without the comfort factor? Without being certain in the knowledge that your special someone will love you in sickness, in poverty, and when you’re not looking your best or on your best behaviour, you can’t get married to that person. If you constantly feel like you’re being judged for your behaviour, or if your partner gets disproportionately angry at your occasional irrational bursts of anger (take note that the key word here is occasional!), then the relationship may not last.

You should know when you’ve found The One. But just because your current boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t check all the boxes, you don’t have to break up with him/her right away – it may just be too soon to tell! Marriage isn’t all smooth-sailing; it’s also a lot of work. Find someone who you can work with, and who you want to work to be a better husband/wife for.

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