8 New Year’s resolutions for single people

Here are 8 resolutions to make if you want to turn things around next year.

8 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR SINGLE PEOPLE
8 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR SINGLE PEOPLE
11 Mar 2015

8 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR SINGLE PEOPLE

PHOTOS: Ingimage

It’s almost New Year’s Eve and for better or for worse, you’re attending Wednesday night’s countdown party solo. You’re single. Again. You’ve cried about it, whined about it, and resigned yourself to it, but now you’re ready to become the person that other people would want to be with.

Here are 8 resolutions to make if you want to turn things around next year:

1. “I WILL MEET MORE PEOPLE”
1. “I WILL MEET MORE PEOPLE”
11 Mar 2015

1. “I WILL MEET MORE PEOPLE”

Unless you marry the McDelivery guy, Prince Charming isn’t going to appear on your doorstep. Well, maybe he would if you threw a gigantic dinner party at home with a lot of singles in attendance, but either way, dating is a numbers game, so go meet some new guys. (You too, introverts.) You need to do whatever it takes, even if it means attending a spin class or joining nature walks from Meetup.com. On that topic…

2. “I WILL TRY UNCONVENTIONAL MEANS OF DATING”
2. “I WILL TRY UNCONVENTIONAL MEANS OF DATING”
11 Mar 2015

2. “I WILL TRY UNCONVENTIONAL MEANS OF DATING”

We’re talking online dating, speed-dating, Tinder, or straight-up hiring a professional matchmaker. Look, there’s no shame in meeting someone through an algorithm. In the grand scheme of things, how you met constitutes about 1 per cent of an entire relationship. Who cares whether you met your dream guy through a dating coach, rather than on a cross-country tour through Europe? Happily ever after isn’t defined by how a romance begins, but how it ends.

3. “I WILL LET MY FRIENDS INTERVENE FOR ME”
3. “I WILL LET MY FRIENDS INTERVENE FOR ME”
11 Mar 2015

3. “I WILL LET MY FRIENDS INTERVENE FOR ME”

If you’re still not convinced, then seek help from your most immediate resource: your friends. It’s not easy to admit you need help when you’re so proud of being independent. But these people not only know what you want, but they know your history and who will be good for you. They’ve all got brothers, cousins, colleagues, and old friends who are in the same boat. So let down your defences and accept the possibility that they’re not just being meddlesome and “kpo”, they actually do want to see you happy.

4. “I WILL BE OPEN”
4. “I WILL BE OPEN”
11 Mar 2015

4. “I WILL BE OPEN”

One of the easiest ways to stay single is to enforce shallow dealbreakers. Obviously, you should uphold some standards – like, don’t date a drug dealer – but ladies, would you be open to dating someone who is three years younger than you? How about someone whose idea of classical music is a Kenny G cover band? Or how about someone whose sense of style is stuck in the ‘90s? None of these traits are attractive, but they’re all superficial. If he’s a good person – loyal, happy, unselfish, willing to change – then know that he’s a diamond amidst a host of “cool” guys with mediocre hearts. It’s a lot easier for someone to change his wardrobe than it is for him to change his character.

5. “I WILL STOP PROCRASTINATING”
5. “I WILL STOP PROCRASTINATING”
11 Mar 2015

5. “I WILL STOP PROCRASTINATING”

There will always be a reason for you to avoid love. You want to change jobs before getting into a relationship. You want to settle your finances before getting serious. You want to lose a few kilograms before seeing what’s out there. At the risk of sounding cliché, life is a journey. You can feel like you’re in a good place without having things 100 per cent settled. Maybe it’s time to start trusting that the person you meet will love you anyway.

6. “I WILL STOP JUDGING PEOPLE WHO SETTLED DOWN BEFORE I DID”
6. “I WILL STOP JUDGING PEOPLE WHO SETTLED DOWN BEFORE I DID”
11 Mar 2015

6. “I WILL STOP JUDGING PEOPLE WHO SETTLED DOWN BEFORE I DID”

“One day, she’s going to regret getting married so young.”
“Who marries their secondary school boyfriend??”
“I would never want to be that co-dependent.”
“I can’t believe she lets him carry her bag.”
“Did you know that she cooks her boyfriend dinner every weekend? I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that.”

These statements might be 100 per cent legitimate, but being so harsh toward other couples makes it difficult for people to get close to you. If you hold such high standards for others, then what kind of standards do you impose on yourself? So chill out. You can enjoy singleness without thinking badly of people who are in a relationship. 

7. “I WILL BE SECURE”
7. “I WILL BE SECURE”
11 Mar 2015

7. “I WILL BE SECURE”

You’re not missing out by being single. You’re not behind in life just because you’re unmarried and childless. You’ll meet your person, it just hasn’t happened for you yet. And that’s fine. Yes, you go on dates and meet new people, but whether you’re spending Friday night on the town or home alone with a bucket of popcorn, you’re secure knowing that singleness isn’t a necessary evil or a rite of passage, it is your life, and one day, you will be able to share everything you learned from this season with another person.

8. “I WILL NEVER STOP HOPING”
8. “I WILL NEVER STOP HOPING”
11 Mar 2015

8. “I WILL NEVER STOP HOPING”

After a certain point (say, a certain age), it’s easy to get jaded and conclude that love just ain’t for you. You’re better off alone, relationships are more trouble than they’re worth, and anyway, who needs someone else? You’re completely self-sufficient. You can carry your own groceries, buy your own house, and find your own happiness without seeking validation from someone else. And anyway, isn’t love just our brain’s reaction to a flood of dopamine?

Well, yeah. You’re awesome on your own. You love yourself. But you’re also guarded. One day, you’re going to meet someone amazing, someone whose existence will make you doubt that life is better lived alone. But because you’re so defensive, you’re going to give off this vibe like “I’m not looking for love.” On the outside, you’ll be cool and aloof. On the inside, it will be a totally different story, but even the most intuitive of guys won’t be able to see that if it’s blocked by a fortress of self-preservation. So if there’s any unextinguished hope residing within your poor, patched-up heart, let it out. Love isn’t a chemical imbalance, it’s a real thing, and it was always going to happen for you.

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