9 signs it's time to let go of your BFFs

Maybe this friendship isn't meant to last forever after all -- and that's okay! 

Photos: ING Image
Photos: ING Image
05 Jun 2015

Photos: ING Image

Most people never end a friendship, they drift apart instead. Do you have a group of friends who have been there since your schooling days, but somehow find that things are not how they used to be? Here are 9 signs that your friendship could be falling apart, and whether you should be taking cues from Gotye on lamenting about somebody that you used to know.

 

1. Your WhatsApp chat group has fallen to the bottom of your list
1. Your WhatsApp chat group has fallen to the bottom of your list
05 Jun 2015

1. Your WhatsApp chat group has fallen to the bottom of your list

In our technology driven age, coveted BFF status is determined by how high the chat group stands on your WhatsApp list. Have you had to scroll all the way down to the bottom, sifting through the defunct conversation groups to find those whom you used to call your best friends? This could be an early warning sign of a friendship that is fading away.

2. You constantly feel annoyed by the things they say or do
2. You constantly feel annoyed by the things they say or do
05 Jun 2015

2. You constantly feel annoyed by the things they say or do

Everyone has their quirks, which we will discover once we get to know a person deeper. There will be things we appreciate, and others that drive us up the wall. If your friend’s habits are getting on your nerves, perhaps you should question: Is your friend worth more than all the little annoyances, and are you willing to see past these to maintain the relationship?

3. There are less meaningful conversations, and more awkward silences
3. There are less meaningful conversations, and more awkward silences
05 Jun 2015

3. There are less meaningful conversations, and more awkward silences

Three hour long phone calls used to be the norm for your friendship, but now it seems to be a struggle to talk for just 3 minutes. Conversations become increasingly forced, ranging from uncomfortable moments of silence to mere “reporting” of what happened since you last met up.

4. Spending time together feels more and more like an obligatory task
4. Spending time together feels more and more like an obligatory task
05 Jun 2015

4. Spending time together feels more and more like an obligatory task

If you are constantly thinking of ways to avoid meeting your friends, dragging your feet to dinner and then spending the whole time wishing you were somewhere else, it might be time to take a step back and assess just how long more you can keep this up. Life is too short to be doing things for obligation’s sake, no?

5. Meet ups get harder and harder to organise
5. Meet ups get harder and harder to organise
05 Jun 2015

5. Meet ups get harder and harder to organise

Many find a shift in their priorities as they grow older, with some friends drifting away as a result of work, family, or even a change in interests. When members of the group are not fully invested in keeping the friendship going, getting full attendance at meet ups or just setting a date becomes a challenging and uphill task, and may no longer be worth the effort.

6. You share your good or bad news with others instead of them
6. You share your good or bad news with others instead of them
05 Jun 2015

6. You share your good or bad news with others instead of them

Our close friends are the ones we keep in the loop of big events and major happenings in our life, well ahead of others. When you naturally share your joys and woes first with the office colleagues or other social groups, perhaps it is time to wonder why – and whether there is enough trust left in the friendship to turn it around.

7. Vice versa, you are no longer the first one to know
7. Vice versa, you are no longer the first one to know
05 Jun 2015

7. Vice versa, you are no longer the first one to know

Similarly, if wedding bells or I-am-moving-to-another-country type of news is coming from the grapevine instead of straight from your BFF, you know the feeling is mutual.

8. You realise you have not seen them in ages, but it does not affect you – much
8. You realise you have not seen them in ages, but it does not affect you – much
05 Jun 2015

8. You realise you have not seen them in ages, but it does not affect you – much

Their Facebook feed used to be populated with pictures that you were a part of. These days, it seems like another group of friends is taking your place – new colleagues from work perhaps? You are not too sure. All you know is that while one side of you questions what happened to all those promises of “friends forever”, another part is just a teensy bit relieved it is finally over.

9. Your lives are heading in totally different directions
9. Your lives are heading in totally different directions
05 Jun 2015

9. Your lives are heading in totally different directions

The nail in the coffin of any friendship is when you realise it may be irreparable in spite of your best efforts to salvage it. It could be hard to maintain simply because there is no longer anything in common. She could now be a mother whose life revolves around family outings and baby fairs, while you are a swinging single who is not ready to settle and still parties on the weekends. Do not put yourself on a guilt trip; it is not a question of who is in the wrong and who did not try hard enough. Just remember not to take it too hard; friends come and go to see us through different phases of our life. A quote by Sean Covey goes: “Make as many friends as you can, but don’t build your life on them alone. It’s an unstable foundation.”

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