How to be The One instead of looking for The One

How do you go about being The One?

Love yourself
Love yourself
23 Feb 2016

Love yourself

PHOTOS: TPG Open

Most people focus on looking for the right person to complete them. Instead, I’m going to suggest something radical. I’m going to suggest that you focus on BEING the right person for yourself. Why? Well, you want your future partner to be the best, most awesome human being, right? If so, you’ve got to work on being the best you can be, because attraction is a two-way street: Awesome wants awesome. Awesome attracts awesome. Awesome and awesome go hand in hand. You get my point. Now, how do you go about being The One?

This story first appeared on Lunch Click.

1. Self-reflection
1. Self-reflection
23 Feb 2016

1. Self-reflection

Take a moment to examine what’s in your head and heart. What values do you hold dear? Filial piety? Self-motivation? Happiness? The values that you want in a partner – do you need to work on these yourself too? Most likely the answer is yes. Life is a work in progress for all of us. Look within and take stock of what you want and need to work on. This is a time for honesty, but be careful not to let it degenerate into personal bashing.  

2. Become the person that you want to be with
2. Become the person that you want to be with
23 Feb 2016

2. Become the person that you want to be with

I want you to fall in love with yourself. This means having a positive attitude and a healthy self-esteem. What would your ideal partner be like? Say independence is top on your list. Check that against yourself and work on becoming an independent person. Do your own laundry. Cook for yourself (with ingredients that you bought). Plan your own trip, including the budgeting part that you hate. Be genuinely happy to be you, and to spend time in your own company.

3. Saying yes to life
3. Saying yes to life
23 Feb 2016

3. Saying yes to life

As you work on your emotional happiness, be proactive about life. Go for activities. Do stuff. What have you always daydreamed about trying? Rock climbing? Scuba diving? Ballroom dancing? The good news is, whatever activity you can think of, there is usually an existing club or community that you can join to pursue your interests. That’s also your opportunity to expand your social network right there. If you’re shy, get your best friend to go with you. The point is to say yes to life, go out there and meet people. The world wants to see your active, happy self.

You want someone who will add value to your already-beautiful life. If you work on becoming The One for yourself, you’ll come to realise that you don’t actually need anyone to “complete” you. And the funny thing is, very often, that’s when you meet that special someone.

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