Why you should date the guy who wasn’t popular in school

Sometimes, being popular isn't a good thing. Here are some reasons you should date the guy who wasn’t popular in school. 

Photos: ING Image
Photos: ING Image
18 Nov 2015

Photos: ING Image

If a dude tells you he was popular in school and describes his glory days as king of the cool crowd with acute longing, you should have your guard up. First, you need to find out if he’s achieved anything of significance since his chick-scoring, Varsity letterman jacket-wearing days. If not, you might want to think twice before jumping into a relationship with him. You’re better off with a man who didn’t peak at age 16. In fact, here are all the reasons you should date the guy who wasn’t popular back in the day. 

 1. He goes after what he wants without expecting any favors.
1. He goes after what he wants without expecting any favors.
18 Nov 2015

1. He goes after what he wants without expecting any favors.

He never had anything handed to him just because people were overeager to please him or too intimidated to say no. Popular guys are used to receiving party invitations left and right, being excused for tardiness, scoring free tuition from brainy chicks, and borrowing things like money and calculators without having to return them. Everyone falls over for him – it’s part of the norm.

But the guy who wasn’t part of the cool crowd doesn’t expect any freebies. Instead of taking your time and attention for granted, he’s more likely to cherish all the little things you do for him.
 

2. He’s a nonconformist.
2. He’s a nonconformist.
18 Nov 2015

2. He’s a nonconformist.

A guy doesn’t have to be an exceptional human being with amazing traits to have been popular in school. In fact, popularity doesn’t measure likability; even though his classmates admired and envied him, they probably thought he was cocky. Being a popular kid mainly requires having visibility and influence, and there’s almost a formula for that: Be the captain of a sports team (to get loads of visibility from school events); wear the right brands; hang out with other popular and good-looking people. Often, the reason popular kids are popular is because they conform to a standard. Those who don’t conform become outsiders.

But as an adult, being different is a good thing. So your man’s nonconformity actually makes him fun, interesting, and likelier to succeed because he stands out in the workplace.
 

3. He’s not caught up with maintaining an image.
3. He’s not caught up with maintaining an image.
18 Nov 2015

3. He’s not caught up with maintaining an image.

Since he didn’t have to live up to a reputation in school, he was able to cultivate other qualities that had nothing to do with his image or the number of girls he dated and dumped. He pursued his own interests outside of what was seen as “cool.” And you’re reaping the benefits now, because you get to date a forward-thinking dynamic individual. 

 4. He’s moved on from the past to better things.
4. He’s moved on from the past to better things.
18 Nov 2015

4. He’s moved on from the past to better things.

Ah, the school bubble. This is a guy who’s not stuck reminiscing about those precious years. Sure, he might recollect a few memories with distant fondness but he doesn’t romanticize prom night, parties where kids pretended they were drunker than they actually were, or the one time he and the campus queen exchanged a two-second side-glance. He put in his time and he’s moved on. He’s a late bloomer. His best years weren’t spent in those school halls, they’re either happening right now or are still to come – and who gets to be a part of them? You do.
 

5.  It feels good to talk to him.
5. It feels good to talk to him.
18 Nov 2015

5. It feels good to talk to him.

He didn’t depend on his social standing to get girls to talk to him, which means he’s worked on his conversational skills to draw you out as best as he can and engage you in a discussion that isn’t all about him. He knows that it takes effort to develop meaningful relationships. He may not be a conversational maestro, but talking to him is rewarding—sweetly awkward moments and all—because he goes beyond the superficial and genuinely wants to get to know you.

6. He isn’t a playboy.
6. He isn’t a playboy.
18 Nov 2015

6. He isn’t a playboy.

He’s got the whole package—unadulterated charm, self-possession, and a totally adorable personality—without an elaborate dating history. Since he hasn’t been with half the hottest girls in school, you don’t have to measure yourself against those impossibly limber, super toned species. You’re not just a number or replaceable groupie. He treats you like he’s lucky to be with you, and he isn’t interested in playing around. 

7. He accomplishes things without being a show-off.
7. He accomplishes things without being a show-off.
18 Nov 2015

7. He accomplishes things without being a show-off.

It’s exhausting to be around an egocentric meathead. He knows that. That’s why he was never one of them in school. He doesn’t need every one of his achievements to be glorified. He accomplishes things with poise without expecting loud fanfare, and he won’t expect you to sit enraptured as he drones on for three hours about one smart move he made. He doesn’t act like a big shot who’s too cool to try new things.

The only time he brags is when he brags about you. He doesn’t hog the limelight, so he won’t get jealous if you’re the center of attention. It makes him happy when you get recognition for the awesome things you do.
 

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