10 post-breakup hideaways better than KFC

Ikea, the library, and more places you should camp out in after a breakup.

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Some people handle breakups by eating chocolate ice cream. Others drown their sorrows in alcohol. But after getting dumped, one 26-year-old Chinese woman spent an entire week eating chicken wings in a 24-hour KFC, leaving only once the media showed up.

We’ve all been through enough heartbreak to know that it’s not entirely inconceivable to spend days on end with only a box of chicken nuggets for company. At the same time, if you’re going to spend a week hiding away from your ex, your apartment, and all the memories you shared, then surely KFC isn’t the best you can do.

Here are 10 post-breakup hiding places that put KFC to shame.

1. IKEA
Catharsis is key. Instead of imagining all those room setups as your would-be dream home, try picturing them as your, uh, dream bachelor/bachelorette pad. Cry into a pile of Swedish meatballs, order some overly complicated new furniture, and assemble away while languishing in the throes of heartbreak.

2. THE PUBLIC LIBRARY
It’s quiet, no one will talk to you, and you have literally thousands of books available to quell the angst. You’ll come out smarter, more cultured, and if you pick the right reading material, happier than before.

3. A HAUNTED HOUSE
While being chased by a horde of costumed ghouls isn’t what we’d call a pleasant experience, it definitely beats post-breakup wallowing. And nothing tempers persistent sadness like having the $*&^ scared out of you in a haunted house. So round up a group of friends, hit up Sentosa Spooktacular or Universal Studios Singapore’s Halloween Horror Nights 4, and ride the adrenaline rush straight out of the pity zone.

4. THE GYM
Sign up for something a little violent, like kickboxing, spin class, or total body conditioning. You’ll get to punch things and look hot. There are no losers here.

5. KTV
Ah, KTV, where three hours singing Jay Chou breakup ballads can pass within the blink of an eye.

6. AN ART MUSEUM
FACT: Sixty percent of all Hollywood-worthy meetups occur inside a museum, where you and a handsome stranger will happen to chance upon Vincent van Gogh's "Starry Night" (or as the two of you will go on to call it, the OIL PAINTING OF DESTINY).

7. CHANGI AIRPORT
First, book your perfect Eat, Pray, Love-style getaway. Make like Tom Hanks in The Terminal and hunker down in one of Singapore’s greatest wonders: the airport. You can tour the butterfly garden, take a dip in the swimming pool, catch a film in the cinema, or even take a nap in one of the snooze chairs.

8. A CHOCOLATE OR CHEESE BAR
What’s better than stuffing your face with the two best foods in the world – chocolate and cheese – alone at home on a Friday night? Why, stuffing your face with chocolate and cheese at Sands Skypark while overlooking the city, of course. But if Marina Bay Sands is a little over your budget, you can always just visit one of those DIY frozen yogurt places and go to town on gummy bears and chocolate chips.

9. MUSTAFA CENTRE
We can think of no better place to get lost in than the sprawling Mustafa Centre, which has anything and everything you can think of buying, be it flat screen TVs, hair dye, or brightly-coloured jewellery. Best of all, Mustafa’s open 24 hours and is stock with food, meaning that you can literally live here for a week without getting kicked out.

10. A CAT CAFÉ
What would this list – and breakups, for that matter – be without cats? If you need a break from human company, head over to one of Singapore’s five cat cafes to cuddle your sadness away. 

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