11 things you’ll find at every “forever alone” person’s flat

A peek into the lives of the perpetually single.

Singlehood

PHOTO: Ingimage

There are three types of flats that single women occupy: the Pinterest-inspired bachelorette pad, the Hoarders-style clutter cave, and the “forever alone” apartment, a cozy fixer-upper befitting someone who’s lonely, but not “100 cats and a shirtless firemen calendar” lonely. Does that sound a little vague to you? Read on to see if your flat fits the bill.

1. A FULL-SIZE CUTOUT OF KIM SOO-HYUN THAT YOU STOLE FROM THE FACE SHOP
By day, he’s eye candy. By night, he’s a prop you’ve perched at your window to keep burglars at bay.

2. A TWIN-SIZED BED COVERED IN BOLSTER PILLOWS AND STUFFED ANIMALS
You tell everyone that they’re there for decoration, but honestly, you just need something to keep you warm at night.

3. THE FIFTY SHADES OF GREY TRILOGY IN HARDCOVER
“Uh, a friend gave me that.”

4. A SINGLE VOLUME OF MICROWAVE COOKING FOR ONE
“Uh, that came for free in the mail."

5. A TREADMILL STILL COVERED IN BUBBLE WRAP
“That’s my mum’s, she just left it here.”

6. A FRIDGE FULL OF EXPIRED INGREDIENTS FROM A RECIPE YOU ATTEMPTED SIX MONTHS AGO
As much as you try to cook for yourself, nothing beats the ease of buying chicken rice downstairs, especially when you’re the only one eating.

7. A STACK OF PHOTO FRAMES WITH NO PICTURES INSIDE
You know a relationship’s serious when you progress beyond tagged photos on Facebook to physical photographs. You’ll stick to making up imaginary stories about the frame’s stock photos for now.

8. TWO COPIES OF 27 DRESSES ON DVD
You bought one for yourself, and the other was a super subtle Secret Santa present from your (married) office bestie.

9. AT LEAST ONE BROKEN APPLIANCE
In the time that you’ve been single, you’ve learned how to change a light bulb, replace a screen door, and unclog a drain. But everyone has their home appliance Kryptonite – you know, that ONE object that seems to elude all attempts at repair. Don’t worry. One of these days, you’ll either muster up the desperation to call in a professional, or you’ll find someone who has a magic touch with vacuums, or whatever it is you can’t fix.

10. A CAT
Because cliches.


11. A BUNCH OF OTHER SINGLE FRIENDS
You might be “forever alone” in love, but that doesn’t mean you’re a complete loner. In fact, you have no shortage of free time to spend with your other single friends, who forever crash at your flat for movie nights, for dinners (courtesy of your mum’s cooking, not yours), and for some Friday night karaoke. So cuddle your cats, cuddle your Kim Soo-Hyun cutouts, and enjoy the personal space while you can. We can guarantee that you’ll miss it in the near future.

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