30 Mar 2016
Noose line is it anyway?
1. SG50 OVERKILL
ALARIC TAY: Is it over already? I was just getting used to the idea of SG50. I was very chillax about it till a friend told me, “Eh, there’s a lot of money to be earned from SG50 ’cos it’s a big year for the government so they’re spending a lot on entertainment.” That was on December 30, 2015.
CHUA ENLAI: Oh my god, it just went on and on and on… It’s great branding, apart from the Japanese thinking it’s a Japanese event ’cos [the SG50 logo] looks like a Japanese flag. But when it came to BreadTalk making the SG50 bun, please, stop! I couldn’t take it. Don’t go there.
JUDEE TAN: I’m not a very affected Singaporean. To me, if you don’t like it, then just don’t look at it, right? What I had a huge problem with was the amount of budget given to it. The money could’ve been put to better use.
SUHAIMI YUSOF: It just goes to show how much money we’ve made over 50 years just to spend it all in one year (laughs).
30 Mar 2016
2. REBECCA LIM’S RETIREMENT SAGA
ALARIC: I mean, it depends on the person who said it as well. If it was one of us who said it, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal. I think at that point, Rebecca must have wished she was a Noose caster or a comedian.
3. LTA ANNOUNCES A NEW BUS SERVICE NUMBERED 666
ALARIC: They could be seeing things upside down. Maybe it’s a police bus.
ENLAI: I’d like to propose a bus 6969. Also, where is bus 444? Actually, there’s a bus 13, right? 13 is an unlucky number. That is more inauspicious than 666 which is just a symbol of the devil. I mean, with the devil, you can always refute him.
30 Mar 2016
SUHAIMI: It’s definitely a good thing ’cos it has prepared us for future wars. We’ve got some free military training when it comes to chemical warfare. Thanks to the haze, Singaporeans now know how to put on masks and tell their old folks to stay at home. We’ve been preparing for almost 11 years now. [I’d say] we’ve graduated.
ALARIC: It gave me a lot of inspiration for movie ideas, like zombie flicks. Could that be the idea for my future feature film? Yeah, maybe.
ENLAI: Last year’s was quite bad. Even when I was indoors, I thought someone had left a smoke machine in there. How did I deal with the haze? Well, if it was at night, I just pretended that I was burning a lot of incense (laughs).
JUDEE: One year, people were angry at the government for not giving out free masks. So the following year, the government gave out free masks. Singaporeans are really like babies — they complain and then expect the government to do something about it. We should be more proactive.
30 Mar 2016
5. OVERCROWDING ON TRAINS
JUDEE: One of my favourite cities is London and when you’re taking the subway there, it’s so crowded you have to wait for the fourth train to get on. So I don’t feel so bad about [overcrowded trains here].
ENLAI: I mean, seriously, people who’ve taken the Tube in London know how unreliable it is. You have to check the weather and the Tube’s schedule beforehand ’cos they could suddenly close one line for maintenance or something. The New York subway is also like that.
30 Mar 2016
6. AMOS YEE
ENLAI: Well, it’s just the beginning. The world is a smaller place now ’cos of the Internet. And it’s going to get even more open, so we’ve got to live with it. What do I think about netizens attacking him? I’m just happy that Singaporeans actually have an opinion (laughs).
ALARIC: Is it okay to swear on print? I think Amos is a very, very brave boy… brave but stupid. He makes a lot of strong comments, but he’s not very tactful. I mean, there’re many ways to skin a cat. And he does it very blatantly. Honestly, I thought he was quite irritating. I feel like giving him one tight slap — not ’cos of what he’s saying, but couldn’t he have done it differently? How? Maybe, for a start, don’t talk like a girl.
SUHAIMI: Amos Yee is a symbol of what kids these days are exposed to. I’d liken him to the chickens that we eat today. It takes about six months for a chicken to be a fully-grown. But, today, the chicken becomes an adult within 40 days ’cos they’re injected with hormones. It’s an adult when it’s not ready to be one yet. So this is a case of a kid knowing things that only a 50-year-old man should, and he’s not able to handle all that information. To me, he’s nothing more than a victim of technology.
Catch The Noose & Kakis: 11 Months of Fresh Air on Mar 31 and Apr 1 at 8pm, and Apr 2 at 2pm and 8pm at 1 Stars Avenue, The Theatre @ Mediacorp. Tix from Sistic.