There are so many things to love about living alone – chief among them being that you’re in a judgment-free zone, meaning that you can be as lazy as possible. Whether it’s sleeping in until noon, eating dry cereal for dinner, or buying a new pack of socks instead of doing the laundry, everyone who’s ever been king of their castle would know the joy of surrendering to one’s lethargy. For every annoying chore conceivable, you’ve MacGyver’d a solution that accomplishes the same end in half the time. So although no one can see you, don’t lie – you’re doing one or all of these things in your humble abode.
1. Iron one piece of clothing at a time instead of the whole pile at once
Laundry is by far the most boring chore. It’s the one task that can stretch out into three days of tedious tasks, from washing, to hanging, to folding, to the worst step of all, ironing. Why spend an hour with the ironing board when you can spend 10 minutes ironing one shirt the morning you actually intend to wear it? It’s not like anyone will see all that wrinkled laundry in your closet anyway.
2. Save the plastic containers from takeout so that you don’t need to buy actual Tupperware
We do it under the guise of being environmentally-friendly, but from one single person to another, you’re killing two birds with one stone by saving the earth while saving yourself time and the $7 it would cost to buy a proper food container.
3. Eat alone at the hawker centre instead of ordering takeaway so that you don’t need to do the dishes
Eating alone in public becomes far less intimidating once you’ve experienced what it feels like to eat dinner by yourself in front of the TV for five nights in a row. So rather than stink up your house will the aroma of fish soup, you choose to save yourself on some cleanup by eating downstairs -- unless, of course, you’re running low on takeaway food containers.
4. Leave a stack of clean laundry on your bed for days at a time instead of putting it in your closet
Sure, folding and hanging clean laundry takes only about 15 minutes, but dumping the entire pile on your bed takes only 15 seconds. Every night, you tell yourself that you’ll put the clothes away, only to shove them out of the way when getting ready to sleep. And instead of making use of your closet, you’ll pick one non-wrinkly outfit from the pile every morning until it is completely depleted.
5. Spend $60 on a maid instead of spending two hours to clean your flat over the weekend
There are few things in life that are truly worth the money, but no one regrets spending cash on an extra-clean flat and three extra hours spent in bed.
6. Order extra delivery so that you have food for both lunch and dinner
Ordering for two? If by that you mean ordering for two meals, and not two people, then you’re clearly an expert at living alone. One Egg McMuffin for today, and a McSpicy with fries for later, please.
7. Sleep on the couch instead of the bed because you’re too lazy to change into pajamas
As pathetic as you feel when you wake up in the morning still dressed in last night’s clothes, you’re especially vulnerable to “couch nights” after a few consecutive days spent working overtime – which we are fraught to do without anyone asking what time we are coming home.
8. Cook and bake with devices that weren’t devised for cooking and baking
There’s a thin line between a lifehack and laziness, and it falls in the zone where mason jars are involved. So in addition to DIY-ing your own super cute batch of ramen, you’ve made cake in a mug, grilled cheese with an iron, instant noodles with a coffee maker, and ramen with a mason jar. All for the sake of not having to fire up the stove. As a wise person once said, “'I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.'”
9. Walk around half the night in a towel because you’re too lazy to put on clothes
Wearing a towel is cooling, comfortable, and above all, frees you from the burden of pants, garters, and bras. Anyway, you’ll throw on something from the unfolded pile of laundry as soon as your McDelivery arrives.
10. Keep reusing one plate from your collection of six because you can’t be bothered to take it off the drying rack
Same goes for your drinking glass, your coffee mug, and your eating utensils. As long as everything’s clean, who cares? You’re still a good distance away from resorting to paper plates, or heaven forbid, covering your dirty dishes in foil just so you can eat out of them again. (‘Hashtag’ intervention).