It’s not easy to make a woman fall in love with you. But as long as she’s available, it’s worth trying. Unlike what Hollywood movies might suggest, grand romantic gestures can across as gimmicky or weird if we don’t already like you. Yeah, there’s always a time and place for diamonds and teddy bears, during the early stages of love, we pay more attention to the everyday actions, comments, and gestures that provide glimpses into your character.
Not sure where to begin? Click through for some ideas.
1. Compliment her hair
There’s a world of difference between “you look nice” and “you’re beautiful!!!”, and unfortunately, too many guys tend to overdo it when making their feelings known to someone who isn’t their girlfriend (yet). Scale it back a little. Telling a girl that her hair looks nice is the easiest way to compliment someone without creeping her out. It’s personal, yet lacking the intimacy normally reserved for boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.
2. “Like” her Facebook posts
You’d be surprised at how many people can’t tell the difference between affirmation and stalking. Creep all you want, but at least have the decency to keep it a secret. Instead of hitting “Like” on all of her profile pictures, pay attention to the posts that show who she is as a person. When she posts pictures from her vacation, compliment her photography skills (just try not to do it on bikini pictures). Even something like “wow, you’re brave” beneath a photo of her skydiving will put you on her radar. Does she share a lot of news articles? Comment intelligently and take note of her interests so that you’ll know what to talk about the next time you see each other.
3. Remember the little things
So easy, and yet so uncommon. Few things annoy us more than having to repeat something we told a guy just a week or two prior. Show her that you care by taking the time to remember her favourite foods, what she does for a living, and how many siblings she has. A warning, though: make sure that you only bring up things that she’s actually told you, not things that you learned by stalking her social media profiles.
4. Watch the TV shows that she recommends
The same goes for books, movies, and music. You’ll have more things in common, and therefore, more things to talk about. But don’t be ingratiating. You don’t have to LOVE everything she loves. Even if your tastes don’t exactly align, she’ll appreciate that you at least took the time to be interested in the things she cares about. And if she reciprocates the gesture and watches the things you like, then you’ll be one step closer to eventually watching these shows together.
5. Clean up after yourself
Few things are hotter than a guy who volunteers to do the dishes. The next time you’re all at a party together, take the initiative to help the host clean up. Pick up the paper plates, sweep the floor, and throw the garbage. Not that you should do all this just to impress a girl, but if she notices, we guarantee that it will work in your favour.
6. Be supportive
It’s one thing for a guy to think that we’re pretty. It’s another for him to make us feel capable and smart. Don’t treat her like just a hot girl – treat her like a person. Ask about her opinions, her interests, and be enthusiastic when she wants to try something new. For instance, if she says that she’s taking on a new project at work, as what it is about and then segue into her career in general. Does she enjoy what she’s doing? How did she get into her line of work? Find out what her passions are and be excited about them. Don’t be a buzzkill and go “Awww, sian,” when she starts talking about her late nights. Encourage her instead by saying that her boss must really believe in her if he puts her on a project that important. Being supportive will not only endear you to her, but it will help you find out more about her character.
7. Show that you think about her when she’s not around
“What!” you say. “Isn’t that a little too much if you’re not even dating?”
Well, the first step to dating is showing how much you think about her. It can be as simple as SMS-ing her in the middle of the day to ask how she is, or sending her a link that you think she’d like. If she’s a dog person, send her a YouTube clip of two dogs doing something adorably stupid. If she’s a big Game of Thrones fan, message her to ask if she’s seen the latest trailer. At least then she will know that you like her enough to remember her at any given moment.
8. Be a gentleman
Here are some easy suggestions:
- Wait with her at the bus stop or taxi stand when it’s late at night and she’s alone
- Offer to share your umbrella with her even though you know that she has her own
- Walk on the outside part of the sidewalk (you know, the side next to the cars)
- And finally, always take the time to help other people. Anyone can be chivalrous to the object of their affection, but it takes a real gentleman to help an a pregnant lady with her groceries, to give his seat to a crabby old grandma, or to open doors for strangers who won’t even make eye contact with him. Practice politeness regardless of whether the girl’s watching, and chivalry will become second nature to you.
9. Show how much you love your family
Loving your family extends far beyond filial piety. Fulfilling the expected standards is one thing, but going out of your way for the people will love will show her that you’ve got the potential to be an excellent family man. Nothing makes us swoon like seeing a guy taking his younger sister out to a movie. Treat your mother to lunch, wake up early to go hiking with your dad, and stop complaining about how much they nag you. By now, we expect grown men to make the most of the limited time left they have with their parents.
10. Be attractive
Sorry guys, but all of our previous points hinge on this one. You don’t need to look like a Korean pop idol, but what’s the use of being chivalrous, supportive, and full of compliments if you look like you haven’t showered in a week? If you can’t take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of us? You’ll look much more responsible (not to mention presentable) if you wear clothes that fit and maintain good personal hygiene. Plus, no girl wants to bring a slob to a party. Dress as if she’s somebody important. You can always wear sweat pants and jerseys on a Saturday at home when you guys are 50 years old and married.