There are few revelations more soul-crushing than finding out your crush is already spoken for. Had you asked him in the first place, you could have avoided the pain, but how to do so without sounding too interested? And what do you do if he doesn’t indicate a relationship status on Facebook? Lucky for all you shy people, there are several convenient ways to find out whether your crush is available or not without asking him directly.
Is your crush available, or is he already spoken for? Here's how to find out
1. Do some social media sleuthing
His Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram should be loaded with clues, regardless of whether the relationship is “Facebook Official” or not. Is he constantly going for expensive brunches? (Cuz trust us, no single guy would go to brunch with his bros or by himself every Saturday morning.) Does the same girl show up in all of his photos? Does anyone make a frequent appearance on his wall posts or tags? Does he interact with his potential crush way more than he interacts with anyone else? Now is the time to be a super creep. Check his Twitter favorites. Does he frequently favorite the tweets of any girl friends in particular, even though those tweets aren’t particularly profound and funny? Then maybe he’s taken, or at least crushing on someone else.
2. Creep on his friends' social media accounts
But what happens if you like someone who’s super discreet? Or worse, what if he doesn’t even use social media? Then take your sleuthing up a level by peeking in on his more expressive friends. Do he and another girl frequently attend the same social events, even though he’s not particularly close to the host? If the two of them look like a package deal, then they’re either dating, soon-to-be-dating, or they’re a male and female BFF (which may present another hurdle in itself).
3. Invite him on a group outing and see if he brings anyone else along
The next time you and your friends decide to go for supper or a movie, ask him along. If he comes by himself (or if he brings another one or two of his bros), great! If he invites another girl, then oops – he has a girlfriend. Even if he doesn’t introduce her as his girlfriend, the odds are that they’re semi-involved, so it might be better to back off.What if he’s technically single, but you suspect he likes someone else?
If you want to be really sneaky, bring up an outing that he would normally not be interested in (“Some friends and I are thinking of cycling in East Coast Park on Saturday morning. Meet at 9?”) Check if he hesitates. Then mention that his potential crush might be going. If he’s suddenly keen to go, then you have your answer.
4. Mention an upcoming event that would necessitate talk of a girlfriend
Speaking of movies, you might not even have to ask him along if he brings up his girlfriend in conversation. Just casually mention an upcoming movie, show, or event, and gauge his response. For instance, “Mockingjay comes out next week! I can’t wait to see it.” Obviously, if he gets the hint and asks you to watch it with him, he’s not only single, but he’s interested (and intuitive). Score! But he could take it as an opportunity to say, “Oh yeah, my girlfriend and I have been waiting ages to see it” (whomp whomp) or “Yeah, [insert name of female] has been wanting to watch that too!” (ALERT: He likes her, otherwise he wouldn’t have randomly brought her up).
5. Ask what he's doing for the holidays
This question is especially useful around super family-oriented holidays, like Christmas or Chinese New Year. A guy in a committed relationship would say that he’s going to visit his family along with his girlfriend’s relatives. You can even try it on New Year’s Eve and use Tip #3 (group outings).
6. Ask his friends
If you’re feeling confident, but are not quite up to approaching your crush directly, you can always let one of his friends know that you’re interested. That way, they can let you know whether he’s seeing anybody or whether he’s ready to date. They can even help you convey your interest if you’re ready for him or her to know. Yeah, there’s a risk that they’d keep you apart if they didn’t agree with your union, but hey – if they’re that opposed to your relationship, then they’ll let you know regardless if you confess your feelings to them ahead of time or not. Best case scenario, they’ll be all for it and will put in a good word for you.
7. If you think he likes someone else, take note of whether he's more likely to show up at an event if that person is there
Technically, he’s single. You’ve still got a chance. But it’s not going to be easy if he’s got his heart set on someone else. Take note of how he acts around you. Does he light up when his potential crush walks into the room? Does he wilt after she leaves? Does he laugh at all of her jokes but space out mid-conversation with you? Maybe it’s time to set your sights elsewhere.