Now that we’re nearing the end of the Hungry Ghost Month, you’ve probably received tons of warnings not to disturb the spirits around you. But if you’ve committed as many regrettable deeds as we have, then you probably feel haunted the rest of the year anyway.
1. Cutting our own fringe the night before school picture day
How hard could it be, right? FACT: Nobody looks like Zooey Deschanel after cutting their own bangs. You’d think it’s as simple as snipping a few strands straight across your forehead, only to emerge with a sink full of hair and a fringe that can only be described as “avant-garde.”
2. Spending our hard-earned pocket money on Aaron Carter CDs
For every Backstreet Boys CD you bought, there were five more albums by Aaron Carter, A*Teens, or Vengaboys. And let’s face it – since this was a time before broadband internet existed, you bought entire albums just for that one song. At least now you’ve got a sizable collection of coasters?
3. Turning down the nerdy guy who grew up to become the most successful person in our class
In a cruel twist of fate, the super popular, supremely handsome basketball player you pined after in school has dropped off the face of the earth, while the nerdy guy you rejected for prom became a highly sought-after investment banker. With abs. And a beautiful, successful investment banker girlfriend. Curses!
4. Pouring all of our emo thoughts onto a public blog
Nothing induces embarrassment like reading our old blogs, which are chock-full of complaints about how much we hated school, how much we hated our teachers, and how much we dreamed that so-and-so from science class would one day look in our direction.
One thing we don’t regret from that era? Teaching ourselves Photoshop and HTML just to customise the layout of our blogs. Extra points of you downloaded brushes to create your own banners and avatars.
5. Letting ourselves become addicted to caffeine in university
While a cup of coffee a week once sufficed, you can barely stay awake nowadays without guzzling a least two before lunchtime. And to think it all started back in university, where chugging multiple Frappuccinos the night before an exam was seen as the emblem of academic devotion. Meanwhile, your colleagues who never picked up the habit can truck on without so much as a cup of tea, giving you the reputation as a high-functioning drug addict.
6. Spending up to $500 on new textbooks in the school bookstore
We try not to fret about this too much – from what we hear, buying a bunch of new books at the beginning of the term is a classic rookie mistake. While we quickly wised up and bought the next term’s load secondhand or online, (or photocopied, shhh), that doesn’t quite ease the pain of spending a three-digit sum on books we rifled through just a couple times.
7. Missing our own birthday party because you drank too much while pre-gaming
If there’s one phrase everyone has uttered by the time they finish school, it’s “I will never drink again”. There’s probably some evidence of you, sprawled onto a couch, clutching a bottle of tequila on that fateful evening, but you’ve long since deleted it from your social media profiles – although no matter how far you’ve come in life, the friends who were around that evening will never let you forget it.
8. Not throwing anything away
A word from the wise: DO YOUR SPRING CLEANING. Throw out every useless trinket, souvenir, and any items of clothing you haven’t worn in the past six months. You’re bound to move house or upgrade your furniture one day, and trust us, you’ll regret being a sentimental packrat after packing a decade’s worth of stuff.
9. Making academic or career decisions based on what our parents wanted instead of what we wanted
“What if I’d kept on painting instead of going to tuition?”
“What if I’d joined that student exchange program in India instead of staying here?”
“What if I’d become a teacher instead of taking over the family business?”
“What if I’d gone to fashion school instead of doing a management program?”