A British YouTuber has penned a steamy novella that features Piers Morgan getting intimate with a Greggs vegan sausage roll.
Alizee Yeezy has written a piece - titled 'Piers Morgan's Vegan Lover' - describing the broadcaster's fictional, x-rated encounter with the vegan snack.
In the novella, the writer suggests that his 'Good Morning Britain' co-host Susanna Reid makes a horrifying discovery.
Alizee wrote: "She found Piers Morgan crouched over his bed, naked, with his penis inside a sausage roll.
"Empty Greggs packages littered his once-fine room; it was the scene of a bakery bombshell.
"Piers was covered in flaky pastry, sausage meat was stuck all over his hands.
"He was grunting, his body pouring with perspiration, droplets of sweat rolling down his forehead and red cheeks as he pumped himself frantically into the Nation's Favourite Roll."
Piers has been a fierce critic of the vegan snack, describing it as "garbage" and saying it is the work of "PC-ravaged clowns" which served as inspiration for Alizee.
She said: "For me, it was the question: Piers Morgan is always banging on about sausage rolls. Why doesn't he marry one? Or f*** one?"